Still

When was the last time you stood still? For a moment, a minute, an hour?

I just stood on a hill, engulfed in mist. I released the chill on my arms, the rage in my bones, the quiet in my breath. I saw a friend drive away in frustration. I saw the deer cross a street plagued with buses and other fast moving predators. I saw the sky glow orange like a rabid furby.

I’m trying to find the balance between compassion, separation, ego.

English, like a badly trained puppy, still hasn’t learned to do any of the tricks I want from it.

Photographer’s Reflexes

I was driving my rental home from the subaru dealership today, and as I’m going through an intersection, I see a wheel/tire rolling (fast) across the street ahead of me, bounce over the center divide, and continue rolling into the bumper of the car in front of me. I look to the left, and see a middle aged man with a bushy moustache getting out of a newer blue volkswagon jetta, looking quite annoyed that his front right disc brake is sitting on the asphalt in the middle of the street. Looking back to the right, I see that the wheel has continue rolling across the street, and almost punked a passing bicyclist before it hit a wall and fell over.

The distressing part of all of this is that I had my camera sitting on the passenger seat, 70-300mm lens attached, and ready to go (aperture priority mode set at f/10, it’s a very sunny day, and mode set to multiple exposures, tap the button for one frame, hold it to shoot continuously). The car in front of me stopped dead when the tire hit it, so I had a good 10 seconds I could have just sat there stopped and taken pictures. And I didn’t even think about it until 1/2 mile later.

=[

No Road Trips for the Wicked

So I ran over a curb today. Managed to tear open both right side tires and bend the front right lower control arm. So I spent ~$360 on new tires (Yokohama, they didn’t have Toyo which were on the car), now the car is at the Subaru shop, which will probably ream me for another few hundred dollars. And I was supposed to leave town 5 hours ago.

blogging before blogging

I found today what I am pretty sure is my second attempt at (what later became called) blogging, in January 2001. This is a complete mindfuck for me.

http://www.fryballs.org/ as of 5/19/2001

For consistency, I’ll import those entries to here later on. I’ve already imported posts from livejournal and xanga and a couple other MT installations (not even sure which ones they are anymore). Perhaps someday I’ll find somewhere that has an archive of http://users.cts.com/~crusader from ~1995-1999.

MT 3.2

Just upgraded to MT 3.2, which came out today. It’s a big improvement, I’m quite pleased.

<HolyWar> perl > php ; mt > wp </HolyWar>

Perhaps someday I’ll have someone to do it for me, like Joi has Boris.

Haxed on the stylesheet for an hour, got this far, I’ll probably leave it alone for a few months now.

kiddos

My kids just came back after being gone for four days. I feel so relieved, so much better, it’s amazing. I had been incredibly anxious and didn’t even realize it. I’m so happy they’re home.

el carro

So I’ve needed a car with four doors for a while now, a coupe doesn’t cut the mustard with two toddlers. So I bought a car on ebay, and I’m leaving for ohio with maiki in an hour to pick it up and drive it home.

Two difficulties; it’s going to be hard for me to be away from my children for that long, it’s going to be hard for me to take a road trip that long without smoking (It’s been two months minus two days).

On the up side, while I am in pain from a recent rejection, I’ll have plenty of time to reflect on it, and rebalance my existence.

On a more banal note, I’ve purchased a 60gb ipod and a camera. Now it’s time to go back into starving-student mode. Expect more pictures on flickr post-haste; the ohio trip will be quite well catalogued.